Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
