I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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