I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
