Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
