I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
