im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
