she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
