You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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