make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
