so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
