So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
This is my gift to your gina
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
