Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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