it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
