I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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