You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
