I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
