Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
