she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
