I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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