My nipple is on Facebook.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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