My first STD was from a foam party
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He felt like a one man threesome
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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