i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
