Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
what day is it and did you see me today?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
