i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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