the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
