dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
