Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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