she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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