We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
