Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
