you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Hippo gnu deer
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
