We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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