I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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