Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
