I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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