I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
