My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
