this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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