I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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