next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
