I love black thongs
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
