it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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