so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
