i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
