I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
