WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
