The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
