they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
