I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
