dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
