those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
