If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
