I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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