barbara walters just said penis...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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