Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
