Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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